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Where have I been?

Posted: November 6, 2009

Wow, I can't believe it has been 2 months since I blogged or made a journal entry. I was just reading the last journal entry I did entitled 'Tears in My Heart' and now I understand exactly what has been happening with me these last couple of months.

Changes are definitely taking shape. Many who know me might be surprised to learn that change is actually very difficult for me to embrace. I usually go out of the old and into the new kicking and screaming. What really fascinates me and makes me giggle inside is that the new is always so much better, so why on earth do I always fight to stay in the old?

I believe the answer is that that is what is most comfortable, so taking that step into the unknown is scary. I am working on the trust that needs to be strong during change. In everything else in my life, I have a great deal of trust. I put my trust in the Universe everyday, always inviting it to take control.

Back to where I have been. I have been going through another major change and kicking and screaming all the way. I am leaving a very big part of my life. I have been raising my sons for the last 25 years (lol) yes, 25 years. I have made honest attempts in the past to let go and allow them the opportunity to learn from their failures and successes. But they just kept coming back.

But now, it truly is the time to cut the cord and allow them to fly on their own. So what about me? What now? Well, I am embracing change...I am still kicking and screaming....but I am truly ready to start a new chapter in my life. Now, I am going to be able to focus on only me. That is a scary thought IF I allow myself to think about it too much. I don't know why is so hard for me. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I have a lot of great plans for my life.

I am going to step off into the unknown with complete trust in the Universe and myself!

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