Self Esteem - Part One
Having low self esteem is an indication of a weakened Life Force. It isn't one that is nonexistent, but weak. Having absolutely no self esteem suggests a missing Life Force.
Over thirty years ago, I worked for an attorney's association in a storefront. We had a view to the world from the large plate glass window of passers by and those waiting for a bus. One day as the bus came to a screeching halt, a man was sitting in a window seat. His features were narrow and gaunt. He had a scraggy five o'clock shadow and uncombed greying hair. He sat without motion, staring directly ahead at what seemed nothing. It was a hot day and the window was down. Out of nowhere three teenage boys went up to him and one squirted bright yellow mustard into his eyes. They ran away laughing. He did nothing. He did not even react to the hot mustard that must have been burning his eyes. Without passion he pulled a wadded white handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped his face as though he was a sweaty field laborer on a sunny day. Before anyone could do anything for him, the bus moved on.
He did not, because I never forgot him. He had an impact on me stayed the rest of my life. Whether he thought his life had any meaning, I'm giving it some now. I didn't know then, but I was seeing someone with a completely extinguished Life Force who probably would have been grateful that oblivion succeeds death.
Instances of lost Life Forces occur every day. For example, when someone uses cutting remarks to elevate his self esteem and succeeds at puncturing the confidence of the intended target, why would he do this, especially, if he is a friend? He does it to steal the confidence of the other. The individual is probably only using the other, and is really disdainful of him, being made to feel good at the diminishment he caused. He himself most likely has low self esteem or a weakened Life Force.
If a target of the verbal abuse feels without value, he becomes crushed easily. Perhaps he may go into a deep depression, using drugs or alcohol to erase the hurt feelings, and really to erase himself into nonexistence. Isn't that the reason for some usage of drugs and alcohol? Having a weakened Life Force, he may feel easily slighted lashing out verbally or physically to prove he is a worthy person. If he had a healthy Life Force, he could see the remarks for what they were and either say something appropriate to the offender or drop the issue.
Why should he say something to the abusive friend? Don't biblical canons and other sources of enlightenment tell us to turn the other cheek? It is wonderful that we will go to our version of heaven or higher dimensions with a spotless record of having turned the other cheek. But, heaven or higher dimensions will be mighty lonely if we are there all alone.
Is it not better to speak up to a friend and lose him than let him lose himself?
To know that a friend has faults that diminish his quality of character and let it stand, is not being a friend. If, however, we have spoken up more than once and the message was not received, silence speaks volumes. The offender may then need to seek inwardly to learn why his friends are leaving him. When he apologizes or acknowledges improper behavior then warm hugs are appropriate. Confrontation surely will only elicit denial. And, there is no point to confront someone in denial until there is a glimmer he will be receptive.
So many things can happen to lessen our self esteem, diminishing our Life Force or will to live. People look down on others for a myriad of reasons: gender, color, weight, disability, intelligence, economic status, and ad infinitum.
We don't have to let others diminish us for any reason. That is easy to say. How can we recover our self esteem in healthy ways that will show our detractors how wrong they are? Living down to the low expectations of others, makes them the winners. Living up to high ideals no matter what the circumstances, makes us the winners.
Next, I plan to examine the ultimate consequences of a totally lost Life Force.
Stay Tuned ....