Forgiveness Lesson - Dealing with a Sick Family Member
I have been blessed with many opportunities for forgiveness. I am an identical twin. Although we have the same DNA, we are very different, indeed. It was, for many years, for me very frustrating trying to understand why there were so many differences in us. I mean we look just alike, we sound just alike, we laugh at the same time, we finish each others senten ces, etc. So why was she weaker than me? I say weaker because she chose (unconsciously) to be in abusive relationships.
We have always been very close to each other. There have been very few times in our lives where we have lived away from each other. In 1999, she was diagnosed with Stage III Breast Cancer. I didn't know it at the time, but it would turn out to be one of the biggest forgiveness lessons of my life.
Now, I will be the first to tell you that I am a little slow at learning things that aren't spelled out for me. Prior to her diagnosis, I had already embarked on my path to healing, not just myself, but my desire to help others heal as well. So, when she was diagnosed, I thought this is a great time to get her to listen about healing herself, and making decisions to be strong and healthy. So began the forgiveness lesson. By the way, this is all in retrospect. During the time all this was taking place, I was still figuring it out myself.
Turns out,she didn't want to listen to me. She chose to do it her way. It was a very difficult road she chose. I was still really struggling with why! Why would she chose that path when there was a better one over here? I had learned that our thought process is so much more powerful than we realize and just by changing our thoughts we can open up our hearts and our minds to endless opportunities. Why didn't she want to hear about that?
So, several years later, after years of watching her struggle with the disease and losing everything she had, including herself, I finally got that the lesson was for me. THE LESSON WAS FOR ME!!
I had to forgive her for being who she is and everything that I thought she was doing to me. She has every right to live her life the way she chooses and my job was to love her unconditionally. A wonderful thing happened when I finally got that. I felt a huge release. I didn't have to be r esponsible for her anymore. And she started to heal herself and make choices that were right for her.
I am very proud of her, she has come a very long way.