Dearest Daughter: Wisdom on the Journey
My Dearest Daughter,
I'd like to share some things with you about this journey of life because I love you and it is time.
In some places in this world, girls your age are given a ceremony to bring them into the next stage of their journey as a young woman. The Grandmothers and Mothers prepare the girl for this transition, offering her sacred knowledge. It's a very beautiful thing and I have been lucky enough to have been witness to ceremonies like this before.
You see Daughter, there is such a thing called Women's Mysteries. Women and men are different in their ways as you have by now noticed, I am sure. One wise teacher named Chief Reyna of the Yaqui-Carrizo-Coahuilteka nations has said that women are enchanted beings who are here to help heal the earth. He says that men are to remember to show their deepest respect to women in assisting them in this healing work. And so, this is one of the many lessons of this mysterious journey; that there are men who respect and support the nature of the Woman's Mystery.
So, Women's Wisdom....there are so many things I would like to tell you. Never allow someone else's actions and behaviors to take away your inner sense of happiness, including the actions of boys. That place inside of you where your happiness resides is sacred, and no one has the right to claim that part of who you are or take from you in that way. This isn't easy at times to remember when feelings get strong and you think that the feelings you are having in the moment are the deepest ones you will ever have. It isn't easy when we feel powerless. Remember Daughter that depression is anger turned inwards. Most women in this culture have been taught not to express their anger outwardly - they have been taught to be 'good' girls who turn into 'good' women and in this culture it means to be pleasant and silent in anger. Daughter, you will find many things we have been taught are not the way things are. Do not despair, the journey is about cutting through the illusions of what we have been taught to come to the place of true knowing. With your anger, find ways to let it out: kick box, dance hard and often, sing loudly, bike, run, hike, whatever you can do to allow the energy of anger to move through you. Cry hard. Beat pillows. Write poems and stories. Do art. Speak up when you must. Don't allow sarcasm to become a weapon of suppressed anger - this is dangerous and it will hurt you as much as it hurts others.
Inside of you is a still, small voice. It is the voice of your heart. If you learn how to quiet yourself you will know what your purpose is. Don't be afraid to listen to the truth of who you are. Your purpose is your own, full, ripe, big and amazing.
Daughter, remember that your body is sacred. Treat it that way. Care for it by eating well. Don't skip meals. Don't fall into the trap of thinking about your body in relation to fat so much of the time. It is a silly thing this society does to girls to trick them into thinking that their power has something to do with how much they weigh. A lot of women get stuck in this trap and it is like a sticky web; the more you step into it, the harder it is to get out. Your body has its own wisdom and set point. Eat well and simply listen to your body. Listen. Do not compare your body to another girl or woman's body. When we learn about what real power is, we learn that there is no need to compare ourselves to anyone else.
Know that going against the tide and being a strong girl and woman isn't always easy to do but stick with your intuition and you will move into life with strength. Understand that you will know things before people say them. We have a sense of things as women that can lead us to make better choices if we listen closely. Our intuition guides us and our wants can confuse us at times. Unless you know you have done something quite wrong to harm someone, don't spend a lot of time questioning every word and action. Girls and women spend too much time thinking they do things wrong - wrong meaning not pleasing to other people, not saying the 'right' things, etc.
Know that you will fall in love and then, you will fall in love again. Each time you will probably feel that it will be the only person you will even love that way. It will be intense and it will be joyful and also sad too when life does what it does and break-ups happen. Trust your intuition with boys. If you feel someone isn't treating you well, don't allow it, and take yourself out of it. Remember that your body is sacred. Don't allow anyone to touch you who doesn't know that. Some boys know it, some boys don't and some never figure it out. The ones who know it - you will sense who they are.
Don't worry so much about getting hurt in life. Life will hurt and it will also be beautiful and amazing and joyful too. There are many things that you will feel Daughter, and the important thing is to be brave and choose to feel them. Don't numb yourself with substances and things that are not good for you. Hurt is a normal part of life. Remember that everything in your life has something to teach you. This is how you transform hurt into wisdom.
Daughter, there is so much more to say to you. I want to wrap you in the depth of my love with my words and my arms and yet, I know that this journey is your own unique journey and you will experience it in your own way. So just a few more things... Celebrate your moontime. It is your connection to all women and to your deepest self. It is your connection to life. Light a candle each month and tune into your dreams - your dreaming time is sacred time.
Keep girlfriends close to you who are steady, honest and kind. Don't choose gossips as friends - they are dangerous girls who become dangerous women. True power comes not from telling what we know of another but from holding the stories of others with great care.
And my Dearest One, know that above all, love is the most important thing. Love, which means loving ourselves first. If we do not love who we are, if we do not treat ourselves with respect then it is very difficult to fully love others.
Honor yourself my cherished Daughter, and be free.
With love always,
Your Honored Mother