Crossroads of a Dream
A dream is all we have to guide us in our decisions. A memory, like a deja vu, as if to instill some assurance that we know the way…that we have been down this road before. Yet, my travels have proven to me that, though there is no 'wrong way' in our choices, we navigate by an inner heart feeling…a sensation in the moment swaying us in one direction or another with no assurance. I've found that what we sometimes feel in the heart is numbed by confusion, lack of passion, discord, even desperation and we make but a guess as to what may bring us happiness. I've found myself sitting at a 'T' in the road, at times, looking out the side windows at choices disappearing into the nothingness in either direction. Nothingness because nothing exists beyond what we can see with our own eyes. We make a choice in direction and create the path before us as we press on projecting the story onto the screen behind us.
We make a decision and choose a direction seemingly following our hearts. Yet, what if our heart has fooled us? What if in our blindness, we have lost sight of the things that matter and those who have supported us--elevated us. Do we elevate on our own accord or are we held aloft by the love of others? I doubt we'd exist if it weren't for our reflection cast upon another.
What are memories but moments shared with some reflection of ourselves upon this silver screen? Ponder those who have walked by your side. Feel in your heart the gratitude that rises to the surface and with such vibrations make decisions that honor those reflections of yourself. Be the protector. Be the giver. Make the sacrifice. Graciously receive. Live with honor and integrity.
Try to let go of seeking so diligently your vision of perfection. Allow your dream to provide you what you are hopeful to receive. To hold out for a perfect scenario of an experience is to deny yourself at least some level of satisfaction. Allow the experience to unfold in its own way and don't turn a blind eye so quickly.
Who am I to suggest such a thing to you? Someone who has witnessed my own choices and complaints about life moments dishonor the experiences I've had rather than being grateful for the gifts they have provided.
We can aim for the sweet spot, but in reality our stability is like standing upon a log in a river. Moments of true balance are rare and not only should we be thankful for them when we are gifted their presence, but we should be as grateful for moments that even come close.
I haven't always appreciated the moments and haven't always demonstrate honor for the gifts the dream has provided as opposed to those it has yet to share. I believe that humanity acts variably, yet collectively, so if I am seemingly guilty of such practice, then likely others, my reflections, are as well.
What is it that sits before you in this moment that you are faced with? What are you longing for that you may have kept at bay because you've held out for the perfect experience? How can you allow yourself to receive a gift to feed that longing? By allowing life to unfold with a seemingly imperfect variation of the experience you see in your mind so perfectly. If you desire something and have yet to receive it, well, maybe it's because you've set too many conditions. Maybe it's time you evaluate what it is you want and determine if there is a way to break down the experience into smaller acceptable bites. You are the architect of your dream. Move forward and be open to variations.
In my recent travels of over 6500 highway miles and more than 20 destinations in the Eastern United States, I have found myself starring into the darkness while laying in a different bed from the night before. In my thoughts I've negotiated what perfection in my experience would have been. Then, I've attempted to let go of that visual and though the bed might not have been my own, the room may not have been ideal, and I may have forgone some particular experience I wanted that day, or what have you, I was at least traveling and freely experiencing new things the way I had intended when I embarked on the trip. It wasn't always an ideal experience in the moment, but looking back and watching the story replay in my mind, collectively it was true perfection. Even award-winning.
Maybe it's time to look back upon an experience you've had and find true perfection in the broader, collective view. Or maybe looking forward you can allow the moments, even the challenging ones or the seeming shortcomings and imperfections, to blend together into an overall masterpiece of perfection.