I told the very talented designer that the two cover selections were like choosing between George Clooney and Sean Connery. How could I be expected to choose when both were so gorgeous? But, alas, I took my own counsel over expert advice and every other opinion.
Hey! Psst! ... Not many people if any know this, but many years ago I was once in very close proximity to Mr. 007 Connery. (Unfortunately, not close enough.) But, I've never forgotten. And, he never noticed. Or, all he remembers are a strange woman's fillings beneath a gaping mouth and eyes staring up at him in a Century City elevator. I'll bet he's seen so many fillings he, could moonlight as a dentist! Vada voom! ;-) And, I've only met Mr. Clooney's aunt Rosemary at a party. She never noticed either. George was a total unknown then, so there was no need to muscle people away from her to get his phone number. In reality, that behavior would be uncharacteristic of me. The analogy to my book cover, however, is that I couldn't take my eyes off the blue one. Mr. Connery was soooo tall! He's weathered time so well. He'd be worth the permanently crooked neck I'd get for gazing admiringly up at him, if he wasn't already married. So, I'll take George home, not that he's second best. ;-) Guys, us old broads go for younger more vibrant ones too. ;-) In the end, it was really about which cover best represented the book.
Also, interestingly, three times while toggling the PDF files back and forth to look at them side by side, the one with the white background turned into a blue background. I didn't touch anything! I can't edit PDF files in Acrobat. If it can be done, I wasn't even in the program. I had them minimized and toggled from the task bar. Once I made my choice, it hasn't happened since. Someone else also likes the blue one. [Insert Twilight Zone music.] If that isn't strange enough for you, I usually type in 100% viewing mode. Occasionally without me doing anything, the mode increases to about 150%. [Cue music.] I even have to lean in to see the 100% type.
I hope this choice is not like the choices I've made with men. But, my choices with men have been from my Conscious Name Direction Number Five (5). [Did you like that George Clooney and Sean Connery segway?] Nevertheless, among other features, Number Five (5) gives the opportunity to meet those whom we (Knew) before to, either repair the relationships, or end them to learn to make better choices.
The whole concept of Number Five (5) implies that the creator(s) of this method of numerology believed in reincarnation. In that, if only one life exists to repair prior relationships we will repeat mistakes in the same lifetime with the same person. Though extremely rare, some divorced couples do remarry in a lifetime. But, for that to be the rule behind Five (5) and not reincarnation, remarrying in one lifetime would have to be pervasive.
Number Five (5) also encourages renewal in other areas of life by breaking from past choices to allow (New) ones once we have learned better (From Wanting New).
We make choices every day. Some choices affect not only our own lives but others, including our pets. Some people rather leave choices in the hands or lap of their god or government so they don't have to suffer the results of bad decisions. 'God willed it,' says the pious woman, holding her hands together and breathing a sigh of relief after dropping the axe in her hand that 'accidentally' fell on her husband's head. People can get away with pretty much anything, if some god ordains it.
When we are caring people, bad decisions that have unforseen negative outcomes can give us tremendous heartache and guilt. Words come to mind from the musical Mame in the song, 'If He Walked Into My Life Today?'
'Did he need a stronger hand? Did he need a lighter touch? Was I soft or was I tough? Did I give enough? Did I give too much? At the moment that he needed me, Did I ever turn away? Would I be there when he called, If he walked into my life today?'
We let some people down because their expectations are so far greater than anyone could live up to. Sometimes we make mistakes because we don't have proper information, or for that matter, any concern. We lack concern through selfishness and indifference. Some are heartless because their nature is such. Other times we are apathetic because we don't want to suffer the consequences of caring. When loved ones die our hearts break, sometimes so deeply it seems the engulfing pain will never end.
Bad decisions can also get us into terrible trouble. For example, we get too caught up in a cell phone conversation while coming to a stop sign and run it. We didn't even notice the elderly woman crossing the street right in front of the car. That's a mistake that can change our lives completely. Will we squirm out of the consequences? Will karma even the scales if we do? You can bet the children and grandchildren of the elderly woman might have something to say about it, even if only for the money they get from a lawsuit. This is not to mention possible jail time.
Taking responsibility doesn't always make us feel good. Our egos get bruised, our pocketbooks get emptied, our lives are turned upside down, or our hearts become saddened, but we've done the right thing. Bitting the bullet and owning up to our shortcomings when we've erred helps keep us humble. Our vibrations can only lighten when we do the right thing.
Do we feel others will just have to live with our mistakes? What does that do for their sense of justice and fairness? Our actions can damage others. When we have to decide for another, it sometimes hurts our hearts. E.g., knowing when to put down a beloved pet, or pulling the plug on a cherished relative who has a 'do not resuscitate' order.
Once we begin owning up to shortcomings and errors of judgment, it becomes easier to do so the next time, plus the honesty might even lighten our vibrations. Though, this doesn't imply we should enjoy making bad choices. Learning to (Cull) a proper (Clue) as Three (3) shows may help us make better choices. Also, we have to put aside our egos and be willing to (Just Ask) others for advice that Number One (1) suggests because it is impossible to know everything.
Are we responsible under universal laws if we make choices from our Subconscious, representing imprinted traits of the hidden self from prior lives? When not purging hidden motives in the (Wen) tier of Five (5), do we theoretically move to a (Fox) tier of Six (6) who is adept at deception? If in the Subconscious Attraction number, it would become self deception since it represents unconscious motivations.
Making correct choices can be oversimplified. Human beings have become very complicated. Human beings have needs to be loved, respected, and appreciated for their humanity. Those who have sacrificed and gone unloved, disrespected, and unappreciated become changed by this disregard from fellow human beings. This sacrifice comes in many forms, e.g., as a life given or degraded in a war, or a life unfulfilled to make other family members happier and more fulfilled.
For thousands of years women have been asked, told, and forced to give up their humanity and personal progress to the warped egos of unlearned men. Ignorant men have merely used and suppressed women, expecting them to be grateful for it. These men made rules for them to live under simply because they had brawn over brains, employing various tactics and doctrines, coaxing them with shelters and trinkets. Many of these oppressed women secretly resented and even hated the children they were forced to bear, keeping their thoughts to themselves, but acting out in meanspirited ways. Some women were not so silent to their children who were the anguished reminders of degradation at the hands of men. Some rebelled in various ways. They became forces to reckon with, relying upon themselves, burning bras, becoming successful in fields not typical to women. Some women did not take positive routes of rebellion, but turned to drugs and alcohol to cope, spewing hatred onto their children. Some women even embraced the very doctrines that diminished them, twisting their offspring into hating themselves and others. That certainly would be the ultimate payback.
Could a child be expected to comprehend the origin or his mother's misery and anger? So, women were entirely blamed for defective offspring. For decades we were told that homosexuality was caused by strong mothers. I doubt it was their strength in the positive sense, but their demoralization. Men, in the first place, caused women to have negative attitudes about them by their own mistreatment of them.
Perhaps, reincarnation is necessary to help us really live in another's shoes. Sympathy requires less understanding than empathy. Those who are empathetic really know what others are feeling. They don't just pity others because of a kind heart, but are vague about why. We all show limited amounts of empathy and sympathy because it is impossible to wear every shoe. But, we can relate one event to another, giving us a closer look at suffering of others.
We should make choices based upon our needs and desires, not because someone else wants something from us, especially as minimal as bragging rights for a notched belt. When love is not given freely, but from manipulation or coercion it isn't love. As a society we have diminished ourselves by turning sexual desires into nothing more than animalistic acts, forgoing genuine love for a few seconds of physical euphoria or domination over another human being.
Current media and movies are exploiting and encouraging this degradation of women. The words used to describe women are tantamount to the 'n' word, suggesting they are nothing more than a body part in the most vehement and disgusting manner.
What kind of future can we have unless we are willing to recover ourselves and our weakened Life Forces to become a healthy society? We too often take an easy route of diversions and philosophies that supposedly give us a pass for any real change if we simply believe in them. Making correct choices is not always easy when not even knowing what they should be, and having old tapes running in the background of the subconscious. Until men and women come together in mutual respect, we will go nowhere worth going.
Our salvation may be in the men who have risen to their higher natures and the modern women who are not allowing the abuse their predecessors endured. They are just as capable and maybe more so than men. They are rising to challenges denied even to their mothers who led the way with lighted candlewicks to their bras.
[I have Jennis Ramos of Llumina Press to thank for her kindness, patience, great page layout, and stunning cover design to No Nonsense Numerology—THE CODE.]
... stay tuned ...