If any of you have ever served in the military or watched the 70's TV show M*A*S*H, then you know just what I mean when I say GP Medium.

The summer of 1994 was the beginning of a very challenging part of my young adulthood, forged from a line of not so wise choices but filled with beautiful learning experiences. It was a chapter that presented a time of growth, testing my inner fortitude, and perseverance.

'Still, I know of no higher fortitude than stubbornness in the face of overwhelming odds' ~ Louis Nizer

And so I begin....

I left home at the very young age of 18 to marry my first husband who at the time was 35 years old. We hadn't known each other but a few weeks yet I was ready to leave everything behind and see the world. A new adventure awaited me.

Having just returned from the Alaskan wilderness where he lived the last 18 years of his life, he was filled with amazing stories from a place and lifestyle few ever get to experience. He was a true bushman living off the land, building his own hand-hewn log home, trapping, and enduring the long harsh winters -- a true survivalist, if you will. This played perfectly to my deep connection with earth, nature, and my sense of adventure. It was a dream come true and an opportunity I didn't want to pass me by. We married two month later and I became pregnant shortly thereafter.

Hidden away from the harsh realities of societal life he chose to live, but nature was not a gentle teacher either. He could not hide from what life needed to teach even in the deepest, most isolated reaches of the planet. This he found to be true as he made his way back to California, back to a lifestyle wrought with bad memories and dysfunction. He was forced to leave his life behind, his comfort zone, and everything he had built due to some events that I am unable to share.

He began painting to generate income and had taken a job painting a home a few doors down from my parent's. One day on my walk to the mailbox, he stopped me and struck up a casual conversation. That's how we met, plain and simple, no fancy love story here. That became the very moment that radically initiated a new chapter of my life.

My home life had been anything but emotionally stable over the previous 4 years so this coupled with my looking for an 'unconscious' escape, seamlessly transitioned one dysfunctional experience for another. As I packed my clothes in an old duffel bag, I walked out the front door of my parent's home with a man seventeen years older than me that I hardly knew. I hardly knew myself for that matter, and it didn't take long for reality to sink its teeth into my very soul.

Having no stable income and he having just returned from Alaska, we had no place to call home. We slept on the floor of his brother's filthy rental for a few days until he asked us to leave. Having nowhere else to go we moved into a motel right off the 8 Freeway near San Diego.

During this time I continued on with my college education and ballet classes, as they were a huge part of my life. This was the only semblance of continuity I currently had. The rest of my spare time was spent helping him paint homes. Eventually, we were able to secure an apartment and married shortly after.

A small wedding ceremony was held at Harmony Grove, a local new age community. I can remember that day clearly as a thick heaviness permeated the chapel. I knew this symbolized the beginning of something I was going to regret, but my pride took over. There was no way I was returning to my parent's home. Failure just wasn't an option.

A month after our wedding I found myself pregnant in hopes that this would in some way reunite me with my parents. In a sense it did, as they could not suppress the excitement of their first grandchild's arrival. Time also seemed to lessen the resentment and hurt of my decision to leave home as we all began to accept the circumstance. As for me, those nine month were anything but blissful. I came to the realization that I married a very brilliant man who suffered from Schizophrenia, while trying to suppress the pain of his childhood through drugs and alcohol. I became a mother to not only our new baby, but to a 35 year old man.

As money disappeared at amazingly high rates of speed due to our new baby and my husbands addictions, we could no longer afford to keep our apartment. I could feel the pressures of our situation building as he became increasingly eager to return to Alaska. He began making lists of all the items we'd need to save for, and suggested that we could make the transition by living in a GP Medium army tent for a few months until we had everything we needed to make the journey.

Well, those few months turned into a few years.

More to follow…